I contemplated whether I was going to put this in my blog or not. But hey, it’s was going on right now. Not really sure why I’ve kept detailed notes about this. Soooo….. grab some popcorn and adult juice.
This is a long one but I’m sure this is what you have been wanting to know. Y’all, I’ve been boy crazy my whole life. My girlfriends know I have some random dating stories that include unwanted hot tubs, going out the opposite door of a bar to avoid a situation, giving out the wrong name and number (check out Google, you can get a fake number) and trying to pick up Border Patrol agents on the way back from Mexico.
I’ve been single for as long as I can remember now. Dating in Phoenix was hard. I mean you damn near had to catch him off the airplane if you wanted a relationship. I can probably count the number of dates that I’ve been on since 2010. I would say the max is five. So obviously I was excited to see what the expat dating pool was working with. I’ve been warned to avoid contractors, military, teachers and whole list of other professionals. So what does that leave? The Nationals and that’s a no go. I also read some articles about how to navigate the dating scene here. I’ve been here less 30 days (when I started writing this) and dating life is popping! My friend Adnaloy said she would wait six months and then explore. To me that sounded like the mature thing to do. I’ll let her be the mature one. In transparency, I tried to juggle a few conversations and texting- but that’s not really me and once someone truly begins to pursue you it gets too difficult.
We began speaking 8/19 and I met him in person about a week later. He is a 33 year old Cameroonian with no kids and the oldest of five. He is university educated. He loves music, has vision of where he is going and how to get there. His smile is contagious. He says the world “really” in a way that causes me to giggle. To top all this off, he is a gentleman.
You mean to tell me I had to travel 6,000 miles to get a man to look my way. Yea America, I ain’t coming back.
Initial meeting- 8/28: We met in front of the fountains at Mall of Qatar. It’s always interesting meeting a man for the first time. You never know if he is going to look the same or be true to height. Our initial plan was dinner, but instead we walked around the mall playing a game of get to know you. Question after question about education, growing up, likes and dislikes, career, relationships and so on. We sat at Starbucks Coffee asking more questions. I’m also big on knowing your whole legal name.
But let me back up about ordering at Starbucks…..When you order with a new person, especially a man, sometimes I don’t know the “pay protocol” (or maybe that’s those Phoenix weirdos). So I pulled my money out to pay. He said “Really, you’re going to make me look like this?” I didn’t know. He went with me to Bath & Body Works so I could pick out a candle. He carried the bag for me. Cute.. So the night is ending and we are walking to the mall exit. I pull out my phone to order an Uber. He was like, “What are you doing?” Uhh getting a ride home. We sort of get into a “tiff” about this. But I explained it to him like this:
⁃ I’m a single female
⁃ I just moved to a new country
⁃ I barely know where I live and you sure as hell don’t need to know where I live. He understood and agreed.
⁃ He walked me to the car, opened the door and closed it.
8/30: Movie night! We went to the IMAX to see Mile 22 staring Mark Wahlberg. It’s definitely a winner. He let me pick out the movie; sort of. He sends me pictures of options and tells me to select a movie for us. We really enjoyed the movie. We sat down afterwards and I had dinner. He showed me pictures and videos of land he has in Cameroon and playing football (which is soccer on this side of the world) with his friends. He also is really into music. We ended our night and I ordered my Uber without incident. He walked me to the car, opened the door and closed it…again.
8/31: This time we went to the Angry Birds Theme Park. Think of a Dave and Busters type of place with games and go carts. We played basketball, air hockey and some other games. I actually like this place. The cool thing about the tickets is instead turning them in for a prize you can just reload to the card and play more games. We had dinner and once again I ordered my Uber without incident. He walked me to the car, opened the door and closed it. I know I keep repeating the same thing, but I just love it!
He said “I miss you.” My response was,”I’m not sure how to respond.” I get kind of awkward with displays of affection toward me.
I have a million and one questions.
How do you know you miss me?
What do you miss?
Am I supposed to miss you?
Do I miss you?
He could tell I was uncomfortable. He proceeded to tell me whatever I was doing in the US before I got to Qatar didn’t matter. I needed to be open to this new experience. Well damn..Okay.
So it’s been about five days since we saw each other, but conversation is strong via text messages during the day and he really likes to text/call me once we are home from work. He’s currently consistent. My processing of this is interesting to me. Just the second guessing and questioning if this is how men are supposed to behave or are you playing games? I don’t know. I don’t have personal exemplar for comparison. I can’t say that when I was dating “XYZ” this was how things worked or these were the expectations. I guess the best part is this is a clean slate and I or we get to make up the rules.
Random question in the middle of all of this. It might sound crazy, but I don’t need to know all of your moves. I think it definitely stems from some dishonesty and secrecy in a previous relationship for me. He didn’t tell me when he was leaving work, going to store, he was missing in action from time to time and I didn’t question because I already knew what was up. So, old behavior for me is like why are telling me, I don’t care where you’re going, You don’t have send a picture. For me it feels like over communication. Is this natural to feel this way or am I being to harsh based on previous experiences?
As of 9/14 I take this all back. I like the communication. What the hell was I thinking???